Thursday 9 July 2015

Tracey Cox reveals the surprising and strange things that REALLY turn women on.



Scientis Edith Chivers uses a plethysmograph to measure arousalClaims that women are more 'erotically plastic' than menCanadian researchers have identified 'object of desire self-consciousness'Say that feeling turned on when you're the turn on is powerful aphrodisiac



What really turns women on?

Being seduced by a sexy stranger? Being tied up and spanked, Christian Grey style? Sex with another woman
According to the latest from the world's top scientists and sexologists, the answer is all of the above - and more….

1. Chimp Porn

Yes really.

Scientist Meredith Chivers performed the now infamous experiment which involved women watching videos of bonobos having sex - along with tapes of other (human) sexual combinations (men with women, women with women and men with men).

Scientist Meredith Chivers proved that women are more 'erotically plastic' than men, which means being turned on by a wider variety of things (file photo)

Chivers wanted to find out if there was a difference to what physically turned women on, rather than what they think turns them on (and is socially acceptable).

She asked a group of women, straight and lesbian, to watch the porn armed with a keypad (to record what said they found arousing) and hooked up to a machine called a plethysmograph (which measured the physical signs of arousal like vaginal lubrication, expansion and increase in blood flow).

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The self-rated results were as she had expected: most of the women said they were turned on mainly by the straight sex scenarios.

But their genitals told a different story: the women responded to all of the sex scenarios - including the chimp porn!

She repeated the same experiment with straight and gay men and found completely different results: their minds and bodies matched.

The straight men said they were turned on by women masturbating alone, women with men and women with women and their physical responses were consistent with that.

Gay men said they were turned on by men alone, men with men and (had a slight interest in) men with women and their genital readings agreed

Tracey says: Feeling turned on because you're the turn on, is a powerful aphrodisiac for women

For all men, watching the bonobo (chimp) sex encounters got the same response as when they looked at a picture of a landscape: zero.

Society assumes men are the ones who are permanently turned on and ready for sex with 'anything with a pulse'.

But it's women, not men, who are more 'erotically plastic' - turned on by a wider variety of things.

2. Ourselves

It's not just the newness factor that makes sex so appealing at the start of relationships.

It's also because we're so appealing to someone else.

Feeling turned on because you're the turn on, is a powerful aphrodisiac for women.

Canadian researchers (who published their study in February) call this 'object of desire self-consciousness'.

Of the 98 men and 100 women they interviewed, the women were more turned on when partners considered them 'hot', than thinking their lover was hot.

They also ranked being admired naked as sexier than looking at their partner's sexy body.

Being desired is a powerful motivator for sex: and a reason lots of women cite for having an affair.

'My husband never compliments me on my body anymore. It's a turn on to be with someone who can't stop touching me or looking at me,' is a common comment from women who stray.

3. Strangers and other women

Further research by Meredith Chivers revealed something else interesting.

For this experiment, she played pornographic audiotapes to women rather than videos - playing to the theory that women are more turned on by words than images.

The sexy scenarios included sex between long-term partners, sex with male and female friends, sex with exes, unknown women and unknown men.

Again, the women listened to the audio porn wired up to the plethysmograph, as well as recording what they said turned them on.

As before, when asked which scenarios turned them on, the women said the scenes involving men not women.

Their genitals told a different story: they were more turned on by the same sex fantasies.

But it was sex with strangers - both male or female - that produced the most dramatic results.

Jamie Dornan stars in first teaser for Fifty Shades Darker+3

Women say they want Christian Grey inspired sex, but the plethysmograph results tell a different story

Sex with a female friend got a positive physical response but sex with an unknown woman prompted one twice as powerful.

Sex with a male friend didn't provoke much interest at all (suggesting women who fancy their male friends are more interested in love than sex) but sex with a male stranger was eight times more powerful.

Yet when asked, the women said the stranger scenarios - particularly with unknown men - aroused them least of all.

The upshot of all this is that women lie to themselves about sex.

What we say we find a turn on and what actually is a turn on, are two completely different things.

Instead of gentle, romantic sex, we want a more erotic, 'dangerous', no-strings flavour to sex.

This doesn't mean becoming a permanent member on Tinder, it just means rethinking the routine, repetitive and largely unchallenging sex women tend to have with long-term partners.

There's a reason why Fifty Shades of Grey is so damn popular: it showcases one way to have 'naughty' sex and still stay faithful.

For more on this topic, read 'What to Women Want? Adventures in the science of female desire'

For Tracey's products, books and blogs about sex and relationships,traceycox.com

What do women really want? #ManServants


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